A Few Things I Learned After a Month Off of Instagram
Originally published on www.kesifelton.com.
February 10, 2016
Disclaimer: This post is roughly half-serious, as social media is only a problem that takes a few clicks to solve, but my experience with it over the course of my childhood, and now (almost) young adulthood, exposed a few issues I wanted to address
The social media accounts that I've used over the years, ranging from MySpace, Twitter, and a multitude of other websites we all used as kids all served one purpose for me: a place where I could share my voice (Cue Mr. Krabs playing the extremely small violin). Growing up I was never really outspoken. People close to me knew me for the clown that I am, acquaintances knew me as "shy". Social media, especially looking back at the past three and a half years of high school, was the place where I could say and do (almost) anything and people just went with it. Social media had been my constant. My friend to vent to. If anyone did judge me for anything I wouldn't know.
A major flaw in this, however, was that I became so accustomed to putting things on social media that I never developed a filter. I didn't have the judgment to know when and when not to hit "post". It wasn't until this past year that I realized how detrimental this was. It eventually entertained more negativity than I was comfortable with.
Around New Year's Eve, I deleted my Instagram (I tried to delete my Twitter but I'm a teenager with no life so...yeah). I then started to see constant examples around me that only increased my disdain for it. The constant obsession for likes, followers, retweets, etc. became quite annoying. I no longer gained anything from compliments on pictures, no longer cared for the vain way I portrayed myself on the Internet.
I felt liberated in a way as I didn't see a need to get back on Instagram, that I wasn't really missing anything. Regretfully, a few days ago (skipping the point where I beat around the bush and further prove my social media addiction) I made a new Instagram account.
Reflecting on the past month, I realized that I was putting more time and effort into editing pictures and worrying about likes than I was about real-life responsibilities. I was more concerned with what was going on in my digital world than my actual one. This time around I just have to be more cognizant of my priorities instead of being hard on myself for something so trivial.
My prior social media antics were fun while they lasted, several pictures videos, and tweets I'll be able to laugh about with my friends forever, but it got to a point where there was a huge discrepancy between who I was and what I was portraying online. Posting every thought I had and every situation I went through created more problems for me in the long run. I had a lot of third-party opinions on situations that I should've known how to deal with offline. This ultimately created some moments where I genuinely needed advice and times when I needed space to figure things out for myself but couldn't get it. Being vulnerable on the internet was only quirky and cute for so long until I had grown out of it but the constant venting became habitual and very unnecessary. Without it, I had to learn how to address my feelings and actually try to deal with them. Also, I am now learning to share my actual voice, not just the one facilitated by technology.
At the end of the day, though, I do appreciate social media as a place for me to connect and interact with a plethora of people and save some of my most valued memories; but, once I get a life all of it's going (I promise this time).
–kf
