Nineteen, Part Two.

Originally published on www.kesifelton.com

By Kési Felton

June 14, 2017

I was originally going to write a post about all the things I did for my 19th birthday (which y'all probably saw all over my social media anyway), but would it really be my birthday or a real blog post of mine without some introspection or reflection? 

I reread the blog post I wrote when I turned 18 and I tried to take myself back to what my life was like at that time: ​When I turned 18, I was preparing myself to head to college and was struggling to grasp the fact that my life was changing. I felt like I had to try so desperately to find any way to remain attached to what my life looked and felt like at that time. When I turned 18, I felt like I had so many options for what direction my life could have gone regarding my passions and future, and that whatever choice I did make would be permanent. I didn't yet understand that life is fluid and that I always have the choice and freedom when it comes to what direction I want my life to go. I never really talked about this, but I now see the immense progress that I've made in the past year, and in the name of authenticity and transparency, why not? 

I feel like throughout my 18th year, I began to dig deeper into the kind of woman that I am and that I aspire to be. I began to get a better idea of my purpose and that the trivial things that come with being 18 cannot deter me from that. 

In my 18th year, I got baptized, went to my first protest, started college, lost my Grandad, found my place as a writer at Howard, cut all my hair off, met Solange, failed, succeeded, learned more about myself, and made amazing memories with a lot of amazing people. 

A lot of what I went through in the first six months or so of being 18 was just due to life doing its thing. When I accepted that change is not only inevitable but necessary, I gave up the control that I wanted to have and let the Universe do its thing which ended up being better than I ever could have imagined. The quality of my life, the people in it, my experiences, everything, is simply better now. I am more adamant about not only listening to my intuition but actually following it as well as protecting my space and energy.

At 19, I can honestly say that I'm content with where my life is and where it's heading and that I'm really just chilling now. Thanks to everyone who sees and acknowledges my growth and who showed me love on my glo-day. I love all of you so much. Let's see what 19 has in store :)

​–kf